Providing Tangible, Regular Support in Real Situations

Missing an important date or event can happen to anyone. Missing the first day of school for your nine year old and eleven year old, while juggling work, life, and being a primary caregiver to a spouse with chronic cancer, can feel like the end of the world.

For Laura, that was exactly what happened. After her husband Joel was diagnosed with myelofibrosis in the beginning of 2021, treatment for the rare cancer was slow to start, with possible clinical trials and new drugs on the horizon. But in May of 2024, Joel began a new immunotherapy treatment. Along with the new treatment, Laura was also juggling a job change, graduate school, and caring for their two children.

“May-August were awful. It was filled with pain and new medications. Our focus changed as a family, and we asked ourselves, ‘how do we sustain our life and reprioritize?’ To do that, I tried to really only focus on the most necessary things.” Laura shared. “I was really trying not to overthink or over prepare but to take each day as it came. I intentionally thought – I’ll wait until the day before school starts to get ready.”

But the day before school started, Laura got a call from school, “Hey, where are your kids?”

“They’re here?” she replied.

“Well, they’re supposed to be here.” At school. She had the first day of school wrong.

Laura broke down. “I felt like I was crumbling. I hadn’t even looked through what school supplies the Breathing Room had dropped off yet. But in that moment, my family made it happen. We pulled together to get cleaned up and get dressed for school. We pulled out the bags from the Breathing Room, and were able to run down the lists checking their supplies off. While I felt like I failed them, it was so sweet how my husband and kids were able to pull together. And it became one of those moments of… okay… you’ve got this. Even when people aren’t physically here helping us out, they’re still caring for us and providing for us. It was so valuable.”

“It probably would have been fine if they went to school without supplies, but I would have felt burdened by it all day, and instead we were able to roll into the next day feeling ready,” she continued. “And when you’re already in a season of not-enough-ness, being able to feel like you have your act together, even for a moment, is pretty incredible.”

So many families living with cancer, and especially those living with chronic cancer like Joel and Laura, face similar moments of needing external support. “Feeling like you’re not doing enough for your family and your kids is a feeling so many parents have, but it’s also magnified by the cancer treatment and the scheduling and medications and the emotions that go with it. So figuring out how we sustain ourselves as a family has been a journey in and of itself. As the primary caregiver, what do we need to survive and how do we thrive while surviving? The Breathing Room has been a partner in that journey, by helping with the basic needs of meals and school supplies and things like that, but also flowers and gifts and treats – those are the things that most people don’t even know are powerful and important.”

For Laura, having a community that shows up unasked is extra special. “The Breathing Room supports regular life. It’s not necessarily things that are glamorous, but it’s things other people may not think of, and it helps in a very real, regular way. When you have people that just show up, and cover a need and it’s just part of what they’re doing, it is its own unique power.”

Our goal is for every Breathing Room family to feel supported in this way, to provide care and support to families affected by cancer by addressing their most critical needs so that they can concentrate on regaining their physical health, to help them both survive and thrive. Since 1997, Breathing Room has supported more than 20,000 families, showing up every day for this community.

The need for support continues to be greater every year. The number of families referred continues to grow, and more families like Laura and Joel’s continue to deal with cancer as part of their new, long-term normal. Your gift helps families going through some of the darkest times of their lives, and reminds them that they are not alone.

“People want to do something big because they want to feel like it makes a big difference. But I think it takes a lot more courage and faith to offer something small and trust that that does make a difference. Life should be about community and there’s a privilege to giving back and being part of something bigger,” Laura said. “To all of the Breathing Room volunteers, delivery drivers, and supporters – I don’t know if you know the difference that you make, but in the hard moments for us, like when we feel like a failure for forgetting the first day of school, knowing that you’re not alone, and that you’re not carrying everything on your own, really breaks into the loneliness. What you’re doing may feel small, but it makes us feel like we can do this for another day. Thank you.”

Thank you for keeping Breathing Room families going for another day. Your support offers hope, practical support, and a community connection for families fighting cancer. Please make a gift today to ensure that no family fights cancer alone.

Gratefully,

Mary Ellen Fitzgerald

Executive Director, Breathing Room Foundation